Not too bad

Have been noticeably absent due to some significant family stresses and issues over the last couple of weeks. I can't go into it too much here but I can say that it is not within my immediate family (ie: hubby and kids) but with my next level of family. It has left me very tired with numerous migraines and worries.

Also Bethany's flu that has persisted on and off for the last 2 months has reared its ugly head yet again and from last Thursday until Wednesday night she (and we) did not have 1 full nights sleep. The worst was Tuesday night with about 5 hours sleep being had by her and myself (moved hubby into her room so he could sleep for work the next day). I marched her off to the doctor again on Wednesday and finally got some antibiotics and some chest cough suppressant and finally Wednesday night she slept through. Caitlyn, however, had other ideas and woke up at 3.30am (quite unlike her!) and stayed awake until 5.30am. Another 5 hours sleep had by me did not make for a very happy person yesterday. Was in bed at 9.30pm last night and she woke at 10pm. Pete was still up but I sat up ready to deal with her and started crying but before I could get out of bed, she stopped crying and was silent. So back to bed and thankfully I slept until 6.30am this morning. So it took 8 days but finally I had a full nights sleep.

I think Caitlyn's problem is the teeth that she is currently getting. About a week before she got her first one she woke up in the middle of the night. She is also getting Bethany's flu. The first night she woke up she was very snuffly and today has had a constantly running nose.

BUT... on top of all this I have still managed 2 successful losses. They have only been small but at least they are losses and I am further away from 96kg and I never want to go back there again!

I spent today catching up on everyone's blogs and after reading Lyn's I thought that I would revise my goals with smaller ones. I only had four goals and they were all biggies, get to 80kg, get to 74.9kg, get to 69.6kg and get to 65kg. So I have reassessed and given myself more realistic, smaller goals, some of which are quite close together. That way if I only lose a few 100 grams, like the last couple of weeks, it still brings me closer to a goal and something to feel good about.

I have also signed up for Paulene's new Springtime challenge and am determined to make the most of it. This one only goes for 6 weeks so am positively sure that only good things can come from it.

Well it is getting late and I still have dishes to do. I am dying to get in and spring clean the house but Caitlyn is at the stage where she wants someone to play with her all the time or if you take your eyes off her for a second she is randsacking her sister's playroom (well it will be they're playroom but at the moment it only has Bethany's toys in there - too many small bits). Might get mum to come around to pay her some attention while I clean.

Catch you all soon.
Bye

Another week begins

Well weighin Friday gave me a pleasant 1kg loss, down to 94.9kg. Not bad for only 4 days of tracking and 6 days of daily walks.

But I think I have managed to undo all my good work in just 3 days. Sometimes I think about that Pink song, "Don't let me get me"

Everyday I fight a war against the mirror

I can't take the person starin' back at me

I'm a hazard to myself

Don't let me get me

I'm my own worst enemy

Its bad when you annoy yourself

So irritating

Don't wanna be my friend no more

I wanna be somebody else

It describes me perfectly. No matter how much I try, I always ending up doing something to ruin all my good work. I have no-one else to blame but myself, nobody else crams the stuff into my mouth and then I come down on myself for stupid little things. Like this weekend. I didn't go all out but it was just silly things. Like Friday I still did my aerobic exercises but didn't go for a walk, was pretty good all day but blew it that night by having some drinky drinks (haven't had any since before I got pregnant with Caitlyn so thought I could treat myself). Saturday didn't do any exercise at all, was pretty good again but once again had on small discrepancy which would have been enough to blow my points for the day and then yesterday again was pretty good for most of the day but splurged and had takeaway for lunch (haven't had it in over a week which is pretty good for us) and didn't do any exercise again.

As bad as that was I was pretty happy with myself when it came to the takeaway. Yes I did have a naughty burger but when it came to the fries, I had maybe 3 or 4 and then got up and walked away leaving the box on the table. I just didn't feel like eating them.

So today I steered away from the scales, not wanting to see how bad it could have been and was back to tracking and walking. I actually finished the day on 17 points, so have a few up my sleeve to try and help with my over indulgence. Not that I tried to save any, it's just today I didn't really feel like eating, had no snacks, just breakfast, lunch and tea. It's quite funny but over the last week I haven't felt like snacking really.

I need to try and make a battle plan to deal with weekends though. If I really want this to succeed I can't blow it every weekend. I also need to get serious with my water intake too. It is non-existant at the moment so I have a 1.25 litre bottle sitting on my kitchen bench tonight and it needs to be drunk from the time I wake up tomorrow.

I am also thinking about trying caffeine free diet coke. I read this on the Tony Ferguson Weightloss Program Website "While caffeine may at times slightly raise the metabolic rate, in the liver it inhibits or slows the conversion of stored fat back into glucose." And I am willing to try anything to help shift this weight. I was thinking about doing the program but don't have the $45 a week and really would prefer to lose weight using real food instead of meal replacements, even if it takes longer to do it.

So, pretty indepth update but if feels good to be blogging about all this stuff again. It's giving me direction and accountability.

Don't count ya chickens....

You know the saying, don't count your chickens until they've hatched.

Well that applies to my last entry. I proudly sprouted how I was feeling better and ready to go but the next morning I woke up with a sore throat and got sick again real fast. Luckily it didn't get anywhere near as bad as last time but I still felt rough. And then typically, my 2 girls got it again too. I tell ya, I can't wait until winter is over.

Anyhoo, I weighed myself Friday and weighed in at 95.9kg, so still a kilo down from last month but 400g up from that last weigh in. So I am going to count this as my new starting weight because the last month has been a real waste.

Fast forward to today and I am proud to say I have been for a 30min walk everyday since and including Saturday. I have tracked everyday since Monday and am feeling really good. For Monday and Tuesday so far I have had 37.5/44 points. I haven't felt this good about myself in a long time actually. I know I still have a long way to go but I just feel good that I am sticking to it properly this time and not letting myself down. Now I just have to improve my water drinking and sticking to regular blog updates.

Bethany had hosted her first ever school assembly this morning. I was so cute watching her sing the National anthem, singing songs and even going up to the mic and calling the deputy principal to present awards. She is growing up so fast. Here is her offical school photo for this year.

And Caitlyn is growing in leaps and bounds. She got her first tooth 2 weeks ago and now you can see it quite clearly whenever she opens her mouth. She says "bubba", "mum", "dad", and "OK" although not at the right people or things just babbling really but it sounds so cute. And last week she finally taught herself to go from sitting down onto her stomach so she crawl away so now I can no longer sit her down on the floor and try and clean as she just leans over and is off again in a matter of seconds. It's now chase the baby time! It is scarey to think that in just 3 month and a bit months she will be a year old. Time is just passing too quickly when it comes to my girls.

Well must log off now, need to do some cleaning while Caitlyn is having her last nap. Last chance I will get for the day so better make the most of it.

Catch you all again soon (promise!)

Back again

Please excuse the absence. Have been putting all efforts into getting better. Now I can actually do our washing without having a minor asthma attack so I think I am finally over it. I even managed to vac and wash the floors this morning so fingers crossed.

I feel that I am ready now to get back to wear I was before I fell ill. I even weighed myself this morning (haven't been near the scales since I got sick) and am still down from the 96.9kg I weighed in at on the 6th July but am up from the 95.5kg I weighed in at the week later. This morning I managed some situps, push ups and squats and so far today have used 3 points on breakfast with no mid morning snacking. Got to be happy with that.

Not much going on lately, had our family portraits done and I love them. Please excuse the quality but after scanning them discovered our scanner needs cleaning and also with them being professional pics, they scan a lot darker and I can master our photo editing program enough to get them to lighten up properly.

Cute Family

My big girl

My little girl (eveyone tells me she looks like a cabbage patch doll)

My beautiful girls

I feel so lucky and so blessed.

Bump in the road

Hi-de-ho everyone. I'm back again. All my plans for getting back on track hit a big bump in the road last Sunday, (not the one just gone) when I woke up with a massive pain in my chest, difficulty breathing and feeling totally crap. Went to the docs on Monday and was diagnosed with Bronchial Asthma. Put on anitbiotics and my asthma inhaler (haven't had to use that since April last year!). It hit me real bad too. Even today, I am still rather breathless and just getting the girls up in the morning, fed and dressed leaves me exhausted.

Then Monday afternoon, Caitlyn's eye that I am always having problems with started getting all mucky again. Tuesday she had full blown conjunctivitis (again!?!) but couldn't get back to the docs til Wednesday where she was given the usual drops and thankfully now the course of antibiotics is finished and she is back to normal.

THEN, Tuesday afternoon, Bethany started getting a bad fever. 39 degrees. Gave her panadol and after an hour seemed to ease. 6 hours later it was back again. This pattern continued. Mentioned it to my crappy doctor who practically ignored it as she was more interested in Caitlyn. By Wednesday afternoon, I was in full panick mode as we had recently had three children die in Western Australia from a combination of the flu and a bactirial virus, one of which was from our suburb. Rang our Healthdirect line who advised me to keep going until Thursday and if she was no better to take her to the doctor. Thursday morning came and she was fine. It was gone, over, done.

So not a lot of rest for me, which may be why I am still hacking like a steam train. So weightloss has taken a back seat for these last couple of weeks but as soon as I can breathe properly will be back to it.

And just before I go, a new pic of Caitlyn, taken in her walker on the weekend. We are having our updated family portraits taken on Saturday and I have been trying to work out what to do with her hair.

Week 1, over and done

Well my first week back on track didn't exactly go to plan. I didn't get any of the exercise I had planned, did manage to drink a little water (very little but still I had some) and just tried my best to control my eating.

TOM arrived Sunday so had to battle that, had some stresses pop up over a friend I had made with one of Bethany's friends mum. We became really good friends and last weekend at her daughter's birthday party discovered that she is an alcoholic and she had a couple of shots at me in front of her family and other mother's from our school and then on Monday couldn't even remember what she had said to me to upset me so had her on the phone for three days and now she barely speaks to me so that has been a little stressful (having first had experience with a relative who is an alcoholic, it is really painful to be exposed to it yet again).

Also had 2 of the big Christmas toy sales this week so planned out what the girls would be getting, organising mum and sister to help grab everything and get it all on layby (all done successfully by the way) Also grabbed Caitlyn's birthday presents as her birthday is a month before Christmas I could put them on layby too and just pick them up earlier. So Christmas for the kids is pretty much done.

Anyhow, with all of this going on I still managed a 1.4kg loss, down to 95.5kg (TOM probably helped out with that but I'll still take the loss LOL). So it's a start. All I can do is try to improve a little more this week with the exercise and the eating and I may managed another one. Once I get to 92 I'll be happy because I be in the low 90's and not far from the 80's again.

Well, best sign off for now. Bethany is on holidays now so I should be able to manage more updates as I won't be dashing off to school twice a day and trying to get everything done in between.

Hope you all have a great weekend.

Today's the Day

Well, as promised, here I am, Day 1 and ready to go.

First things first, my weighin. I haven't weighed myself for a month now and was quite scared about getting back on those scales. I was sure I was back in the 100's, just by the way my body feels when I walk. Well, first thing this morning, I climb on the scales, totally butt naked and I am ...... 96.9kg. So that wasn't as bad as I thought.

Made sure I had breakfast this morning, 25g Cheerios and 1/2 a cup of skim milk. And that's it so far today. We quickly nicked to the shop and Pete decided to try a Pretzos Pretsil (today of all days, the shops been there for 3 months now at least) waves it in front of my face and says "want to try it" I give him a foul look and say "Hello, first day of WW" he says "just try a little bit, it's nice" I give him really dirty look and say "stop trying to sabotage me, this is hard enough as it is" End of conversation, quite happy with myself.

Need to keep going today and even manage a walk. May walk to school and pick Bethany up if weather holds off. Can get 30mins by myself and then the 20min walk back with her. That would be good, fingers crossed.

I just keep saying to myself, get through today and it will only get easier, but we all know the truth don't we LOL.